A Love Story.

Lucas the cat stole away my heart.
I chased down Lucas and squashed him with my foot.
And with him, I accidentally squashed my heart.





.

The process of an alienation

They observe each other.
They talk.
They meet each other.
They talk.
They get closer.
They talk.
They laugh at their talk.
They talk.
They fight at their talk.
They talk.
They talk at their talk.
They talk.
They take each other for granted.
They talk.
They get busy.
They talk.
They don't have time to talk.
They're too sleepy to talk.
They're too exhausted to talk.
They're too modern.man to talk.
They talk on occasions.
They Happy Birthday each other.
They Happy anniversary each other.
They Happy New Year each other.
They take each other for granted.
They get wrapped in the windmill.
They stop talking.
They wait for each other.
They wait for the other to talk.
They bloat with pride.
They wait for the other to talk.
They stop talking.
They take each other for granted.
They bloat with pride.
They wait for the other to talk.
They talk.
They don't know how to talk anymore.
They talk.
They don't know how to talk anymore.
They talk.
They don't know how to talk anymore.

They don't know how to talk anymore.




And then it all ends.




.

++

There was once a square
and there was once a circle.
The square always wished to be a circle
and the circle would've killed to become a square.
The square never became a circle
and the circle never became a square
and in the distance you could see a mirage of a triangle laughing out loud.





.

on "this"

some of them hearts
are so graceful
even when they shatter
they shatter beautifully





.

melt:ing--pot

In a land of sand and dunes, I live
in a box of glass and steel
A glittery shiny life, I lead
crossed legs on a chair on wheels
To the front I walk on a carpet red
I smile, I wave, I greet
For I have been the greatest actress of all
oh the spotlights I did steal.

***

I'm a perfect being.
No. I'm *the* perfect being.
In fact, I'm so perfect, perfection is jealous.

I make no mistakes. I have no flaws.
I do the things the way they should be done. Or shouldn't be done.
I know everything.
I have an interpretation for everything, reasons for everything, and solutions for everything.
I have wisdom beyond belief and I possess access to everyone's minds.
When I talk, I talk directly to your soul, your body, your mind. All at the same time.
I make so much sense, I make you wonder if you have any of your own.
I make things look so much different, so much easier, so much simpler, it makes you question why on earth you haven't thought about things this way before.
I'm charismatic, and enigmatic and a drum-roll in everyone's lives.
If you know me, you'll never imagine your life again without me.
I'm strong, brave and have the courage to face it all. And by letting you know that, in return, you become strong, brave and have the courage to face it all.
I'm caring, loving and a best friend.
If you have me, you don't need anyone else. I make your life perfect, like I am.
I'm the missing piece to all people's life puzzles. If you find me, you've just successfully completed your life's picture.

I'm a perfect being.
No. I'm *the* perfect being.
In fact, I'm so perfect, perfection is jealous.

***

On shattered pieces of what's called earth
I hop, I land, I fly
Leaving behind shreds that have once been
a part of a life pass'n' by
Confusion of the fusion of
all scattered pieces, I
have lost the wild wild battle of
not living in a twisted lie.

***

I am nothing.
No. I am *the* nothing.
In fact, I'm so much of a nothing, nothing is jealous.

I have no dreams, no wishes, no plans of my own.
I walk through life because I have to. And I flow with the mainstream because I have to.
I stop when they tell me to stop. And I don't stop when they don't tell me to stop.
I am no one. If you pass me by, you wouldn't look twice.
I occupy space, making the world just a little bit tighter for everyone.
I breathe in air that probably someone else deserves more.
Beyond that, I have no existence. I'm off the records of human kind's history.
I am a lack.
I lack life, I lack emotions and I lack actions.
I have none. No mind, no heart, no soul, no body.
I'm the mistake of a world, oh so perfect.
I'm the flaw. I'm the error.
I'm the hole.

I am nothing.
No. I am *the* nothing.
In fact, I'm so much of a nothing, nothing is jealous.

***

With teary eyes, a bowed head and heart
I put my palms together, I kneel
I plea guilty in the courts of life and I
beg forgiveness of all of thee
I have cheated, betrayed, mistaken and
let down because I'm Me.

***

I don't know who I am.
Somewhere along the lines of life in the fast lane, I lost track of the person I am.
I know who I used to be.
I know who I wanna be.
But I have no idea who I am.
I don't know how it happened. I was always so careful.
I make a plan, I follow the plan.
and now the plan fucked me up.

I don't know who I am.
But I plan to introduce us.



.

A stereotypical Love Story

to be cont'd

con.....nection

They spoke to each other in the language of parking spots.

If she had been "good", she'd find a parking spot right in front of the entrance of her building.
If she had been "bad", she'd drive around her neighborhood for up to a whole hour just to find a spot to throw in her car. And more than often, she ends up parking next to the big stinky garbage dumper.

They spoke to each other in the language of parking spots.
And she was happy she got His feedback.






.

For Sale

stacks of wrapped up emotions.
glittery. shiny. for all occasions.
brand new.

a dozen of drama acts.
never seen a stage. never seen on stage.

a pack of future plans.
with stuck arms of a clock.

a collection of touches.
never encountered skin.

a river of tears.
never rolled down.

tons of smiles.
never curved a lip.

a million hugs.
never wrapped a body close to a heart.

of bundle of shiny black hair.
never saw sunshine. on hold for an uncover.

a bottle of random talk and empty conversations.
never spilled out.

a locked box with a treasure map and a key to a secret garden.
never opened. never unfolded.

a dream of a being.
never acquired its first cell.

a red tulip flower.
saved over the years.

a pillow.

a sun.

a window.

a man.

a heart.




.

Rocking Chair

You know I hate waiting, don't you?

Then why don't you just come?

You know that life is ticking, and we don't have time to waste.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd smile at you, and stare at you and smile at you.

Then why don't you just come?

You know that I'd go around the world with you, and I'd let you go around the world with me.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd sew you clothes, make you a Halloween costume, and trick or treat with you.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd let you eat all the chocolate chip cookies.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd read for you, sing you your favorite songs and write you poems.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd paint for you, paint around you, paint you.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd let you be my home.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd love you forever, love you unconditionally, love you beyond.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'd be there, and here, and everywhere else.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I keep looking at my watch, at the big pendulum in my living room, at clock towers.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I'm waiting.

Then why don't you just come?

You know I hate waiting, don't you?

Then why don't you just come?




why don't you just come?






.

~Nude~

paints a smile
wears a perfume
on a strap high heels
and makes way to the red fluorescent light.

Because there's something missing
Inside out
there's something missing
and that's a way to the red fluorescent light.

buys a stack of emotions
with an expiration date of yesterday
that last for 11 minutes
on the way to the red fluorescent light.

fills up the void
fills up the vacuum
isn't filling up holes a human's ultimate goal
that makes him steal,
that makes him bribe,
that makes him kill,
that makes him consume,
that makes him hate,
that makes him fight,

for we all walk on the way to the red fluorescent light.



and now that you've felt it, you don't.
and now that you've hid it, it's shown.
and now that you've filled it, it's emptier.
and now that you've got it, it's gone.

it's forever gone.

2028

Have you ever felt that something is so certainly gonna happen, you could almost touch it?



Through the span of her life, nothing tragic has ever really happened.
A couple of heartaches here and there. Maybe some problems. Mere misunderstandings.
But come to think about it, nothing major really happened to her.

While people encountered wars, sudden deaths, drastic losses - she was at home, safe and sound.
While people were shattered all over the place, she kept herself intact.
While people stumbled upon life and spent forever searching for who they truly are, she knew exactly what she is, what she's for and what she's supposed to do.
While people struggled for their rights and freedom, she was granted those on a golden (or maybe just a silver) plate.

When she got bored, she made things up.
She created her own drama, or was willingly sucked in in someone else's.

But all along, her wise heart always warned her that life wouldn't let her go off that easily.
All along, she waited for her tragedy to come.
She waited for the true thing. The real deal. Her own struggle. Her tough fight. Her heroic battle.

All along she waited. And it never came.
She always felt like she's going to die young.
Not that it had to do with anything.

And on the time line of her life she walked
until a messed up version of a ghost from the future started appearing behind the thick fog of the unknown.

She felt it in her stomach.
no no. That can't be. you must be kidding me.
She felt it in her stomach, or maybe above - just a little.
Is this it? Is this my tragedy?
She felt it in her stomach, or maybe above - just a little, and a bit to the left.
Is it me? I will be my own battle?
She felt it in her stomach, or maybe above - just a little, and a bit to the left; beating.
I always knew I'll be the protagonist of my own story, but this.
She felt it in her stomach, or maybe above - just a little, and a bit to the left; beating. breathing.
...in my own war...i fight...me?
She felt it in her stomach, or maybe above - just a little, and a bit to the left; beating. breathing. living.

And on the time line of her life she walks.
And a messed up version of a ghost from the future smirks.
giggles.
laughs.
I am here.
it shouts.
and she shall wait no more.
it twirls around in euphoria
and twirls around in shameless euphoria.
and it ties itself up in a lump and settles.

She felt it in her stomach, or maybe above - just a little, and a bit to the left.


and it rests.
in one of them.
right above her heart.
it rests.




and her battle begins.

002

I said: "I need you".

He turned around and walked away from me.

I could have cried
screamed
groaned
stomped my feet
tore my clothes

but I just glanced, turned around, and started looking for flowers.

001

Your punishment is that I do forgive you - that despite everything, I don't really hate you.
Your punishment is your conscience - if there's anything left of it, that is.
Your punishment is you.





I truly wish I can hold this back but...
fuck you.